Demons

Like all of us I too struggle with some personal demons. There are so many flaws I see but cannot overcome easily. I want to talk about how I identified my demons and how I think I can overcome them. I also want to put the question out to the world: “Are bad thoughts really bad if you know they are bad and you do not act on them.”

I struggle with jealousy. I find it hard to easily accept that others have succeeded when I failed. But I know that I am going to experience this hundreds of times in my life. I know that there is a difference between jealousy and envy. But I do not know on which side of the line I fall on most times. Most of the times I feel that I am on the side of envy but sometimes I feel jealous. I have tried to quell it by thinking that I have to work harder the next time. If I don’t like falling behind in the race, the only solution is to run faster or longer. Like Casey Neistat on YouTube who says that you may not be the smartest person in the world but what you can do to make up for that is work hard. Working harder than the other is the only way you can stay ahead of the pack. I try to follow that advice and have been kind of successful but still I know that stopping is not an option.

The other problem is identifying your demons. If you do not know your demons, if you do not care enough to find out, you will not be able to overcome them. Sometimes take the time to think about your thoughts. See if you think that there is any bias in your thoughts. Try to identify whether you had any preconceived notions or thoughts like reflexes about any topic. See if you can identify the reason why you think the way you think. This is a stupid example but it happened to me today I bought a mint and it came in a wrapper. I tore the wrapper and you know the small triangle that comes off as a smaller separate piece? I just let it drop. Normally for bigger waste I would never do that but for a thing as small as this I did not even give it a thought. I looked down and thought about it and saw all the other plastic pieces fallen down there and I immediately picked my small triangle up. This is the kind of thought we have to be aware of to be able to change it. This applies to so many things in life. Try to think about it.

Now for the last part which you cannot control. I have spoken about impact of thoughts on the outside world but I want to discuss the effect of my thoughts within my head. I believe all of us have had bad thoughts some time or the other. I too have had such thoughts in my head. I call these thoughts my demons and I think myself as the gatekeeper of these thoughts. I have to remain strong all my life and not let any escape in the outside world. Like Pandora’s box these thoughts are best kept inside. But unlike Pandora’s box they can be put inside too. Consider all the bad thoughts in your head; Saying something mean and hurtful in a fight, bullying someone for fun, deceiving someone for personal gain, no admitting the truth to yourself, letting down others just because it is hard; Make all of these thoughts demons and trap them. Do not let them escape. Even if they escape repair the damage. Be honest about them to the people closest to you and ones most likely to be affected by them. Never think that apologizing makes it all right to let them out anytime. Be Honest with yourself first so you can be honest with the world.

Something just came to my mind when I wrote this. “Be Honest with yourself first so you can be honest with the world. ” Honesty does not have to be goodness but I feel that honesty is important. Like the phrase honor withing thieves implies that even though what they do is not legal or good but they follow a strict personal guideline. I would like as a friend or even an enemy an honorable person who has strict sense of self which allows them to be unchanging in their behavior even when everything else is different. (Like the Samurai’s of Old Japan). Because a person who keeps changing beliefs or keeps making excuses for his behavior is not a person I would respect. An example is a project lead who knows halfway through the project that it will be delayed but does nothing and at the end reports that there was a delay but gives vague reasoning. While a better project lead will try his best to see if there was any fault in him or see if there can be any changes made to the plan so that it is done on time or failing even that informing at that time itself that there is a possible delay in the completion.

Well Goodbye for now if you read this and like this, whoever you are see me later! (like see you later but unless you comment I will never even know you so… yeah can’t see you later like all the kids say but see me later like the lonely bloggers say)  lol